I have moved my banning ordeal information into the link at the side-portlet called "Banhammer". It counts the days since my forum ban and has a link to all the information I have on the matter. This blog is more focused on in-game and upcoming changes than my dealings with Blizzard bureaucracy. That being said, I will have an update later today on some of the other things I tested briefly yesterday in the Cataclysm beta.

I know that this subject is getting beaten to death on the forums and even reputable news outlets are getting in on the action... but I read this from an anonymous level 1 alt and I had to say, it moved me:

Bobby Kotick spins in his chair "Welcome Young gamer, I have been expecting you. you no longer need those"

Kotick gestures and the bindings over your keyboard fall off.

Kotick says "game developers.. leave us."

The developers leave the room.

Kotick says "I am looking forward to completing the game testing, in time you will call me... game MASTER"

You say "you're gravely mistaken, I won't be converted to facebook the way you turned my guild."

Kotick says "Oh no my young gamer you will find it is YOU who are mistaken... about a great many things.."

Ghostcrawler deeply says "His cata beta key"

Ghostcrawler hands the beta key to Kotick.

Kotick says "ahh yes, a gamer's weapon. Much like your guildies, by now you must know your guildies can never leave wow, so will it be with you"

You say "You're wrong, soon my charecter will be gone and your game with me"

Kotick laughs "Perhaps you're referrin to the emminent attack on our servers from our outraged fans? Yesss... I assure you, our servers are quite safe from their pitiful attempts"

You speak "Your overconfidence is your weakness"

Kotick turns "Your faith in blizzard is yours"

Ghostcrawler deeply says "You should join facebook, it is pointless to resist.. my friend"

Kotick says "Everything that has transpired has done so according to my design. You're friends over there posting on the forums are walking into a trap. As is anyone else who uses it. It was I who allowed the community to find out about the facebook integration early. It is quite safe from your... pitiful attempts to hack into it. An entire legion of the world's best hackerz would be needed to get in. Oh, i'm afraid the servers will be quite operational when the game goes live..." Kotick leans back and smiles.

Everyone in the room looks over at the beta tester's playing the game.

Kotick states "come boy, see for yourself. from here you will witness the final destruction of WoW, and the end of your insignificant guild"

You look down at the beta key beside him.

Kotick states "Oh you want this don't you?"

Kotick carresses the beta key.

He says "The envy is swelling in you now, take your beta key. Use it. That computer is unused. warn your guildies in game, give in to your anger. With each passing moment you become more my servant."

You say "no..."

Kotick leans forward "It is unavoidable. You, like your guildies... are now mine."

He says "as you can see my young gamer, your guildies names are now mine. now witness the full hacking ability of this fully developed and operational battle.net system. Troll at will gamers!"

One gamer stands up at a booth "This forums using my real name... the credit scam is operational!"

Another gamer stands up at an adjacent booth "All gamer's prepare to cancel wow accounts!"

Gamer 1 says "You may not get another chance to tell them what you think, this may be your only shot. We gotta give it more time"

Gamer 2 yells "We have no choice! Blizzard cannot repel trolling of this magnitude!"

Kotick looks back and chuckles before saying "Your game is lost. and your guildies info is now open. There is no escaping from facebook my young gamer. The WoW will die, and your guildies will leave."

Kotick closes his eyes and uses the force. "Goood I can feel your anger. That pc is still unused, take the beta key. Plug it in and you're journey to battle-net will be complete."

You look away, look back and snag the key only to find Ghostcrawler is now occupying the pc.

Kotick laughs as you throw Ghostcrawler off the keyboard.

He says "gooooooood let the desire to play flow through you."

Ghostcrawler stands and calmly states "Nin-tendo Wii has taught you well."

You say "Your thoughts betray you ghostcralwer, i feel the desire to save WoW, the conflict.

Ghostcrawler says "there is no conflict"

You respond "You couldn't bring yourself to ban me from the forums before and I don't think you will now"

He says "You underestimate the power of the facebook deal, If you will not join then you will be banned!"

He bans your pc but you manage to hide in another booth watching another tester play.

He looks around the room to no avail before saying "You cannot hide forever gamer. Give yourself over to the battlenet, it is the only way to join your friends. Yes... your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong, especially for... sister... yesss you have a sisster that has facebook. Soooo you have a twin sister that uses facebook? Your feelings have now betrayed her too. Nin-tendo Wii was right to hide her from me. Now it's failure to entertain is complete. If you will not turn to the battlenet, then perhaps she will."

You scream "NOOO!" before jumping up to fight Ghostcrawler for the last Pc beta spot. During the fight you manage to break his pc.

Ghostcrawler moans "arrrggbh"

Kotick chuckles "Gooood. Your desire to play has made you powerful. Now, fulfill your destiny. Take his place as head developer at my side."

You throw away the beta key and state "Never! I'll never turn from WoW! You failed your kotickness. I am a wow player, like my guildies before me."

Kotick coldly looks at you and states... "So be it... gamer, if you will not be turned.. you will be destroyed!" Kotick attacks and leaves you crippled from the tracing of IP on the the permaban.

He says "young fool... only now at the end do you understand the power of the battlenet" He attacks again. "Your feeble WoW expansions are no match for the power of Activision. You will pay the price for your lack of vision. and now my young gamer... you will die"

You writhe in pain "Ghostcrawlerrr pleeeease don't let him ruin wow!" You writhe in agony.

Kotick says "and now young gamer, you will die!" Attacks with the finishin touches on the IP ban.


Ghostcrawler looks back and forth before picking up Kotick and throwing him into the WoW cata forums. Faintly, you both can hear Kotick screaming as he is harrassed to death.

Ghostcrawler weakly falls over and feebily says "Gamer, tell your fellow gamers.. blizzard was saved"

You respond "But Ghostcrawler, you'll be fired and banned?"

He responds "Nothing can stop that now.. Just for once, let me be one of the gamers.. on my own terms..."

You nod and stand up.

He says "Now go... my gamer... leave me."

You say "No Ghostcrawler you're coming with me I'll not leave you to be fired I've got to save you.

He smiles "You already have, you were right about me. You already have. Tell your sister not to use battlenet.."

A party is held in the gaming world for hours as music and celebration is infinite as blizzard is saved from the might of the evil empire.

/que star wars end music.